Will 的个人资料my space照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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my space7月13日 An UpdateIts been some time since i have updated my space. I have been in my new place for two weeks now.. things are going alright ive met some new people. And I have decided that I am going to get back into MMA (mixed Martial Arts) i.e UFC. i have found a group in calgary that trains and competes and i have looked into joining. its been awhile but its something i wnt to do. and im going to stick with it. I hope to hear from them soon. And then i hope to start competing, It will give my life some focus, ill have an outlet for my frustration and anger. ill go to the gym and train hard it will be alot of work but i think it will be worth it. regain the stregnth i had in highschool. I miss the rush of fighting and i dont care if i dont win alot it will be good for me. 6月22日 The New MeI officaly said goodbye to my old self. he is dead and buried. now i just have to find who i am again. i would still rather just crawl away and die. but as they say life goes on. She was my life. i know i made mistakes and she did as well. i thought it could be fixed, iwas wrong. She already has a new man in her life. I guess she was lying when she said she wanted to be alone. What does it matter now? its done and over with. I need to forget and move on, but i cant stop thinking about her being with HIM. i dont know why i let it bother me. we arent together is there something deep inside of me that wants to be with her? i know i want to be with her. ill never stop loving her maybe thats the problem. She says she cares for me but she does so many things to hurt me on a day to day basis, Yet she does nothing now she stays at his house. she says they talk i want to believe her. but going to his place everynight??? She never calls me when she says she will i have accepted that. she dosent want me in her life so i am gone, there wont be anything between her and him now. not that there ever was. And the worst thing is she will never tell me the truth. 6月18日 My DeathSometimes I choke on all the false love
That infects me Sometimes everything is not enough to cure The sickness inside of me I died the other night. I am no longer the person i was. She took the last little bit of good i had inside me and took it away. I am just a shell now. nothing more than an emotionless zombie cursed to walk forever. never at peace,alone...It wasnt a quick and easy death. it was a long dragged out hell filled with pain and suffering. and the one person who could have helped turned her back to me. This is how i know there is no god. My suffering is eternal. it will be with me forever my one companion always there.
I did it all cried black tears for you
Why cant you see see Like a vampire biting my heart Suck the love right out of me Dont even care as my blood stains the floor Cannot be cleaned You cut me out and tore me through Six feet unders the place for me
I dont know what im going to do. im just so tired of it all. I dont have the energy to go on anymore. I know i shouldnt feel this way, but i have no other way to feel anymore. I AM DEAD INSIDE........ My curse is to have a dead soul. the only thing left to look forward to is the death of my body, which on some days cant come fast enough. 5月11日 the worldThe World is nonexistant. My life, and what i preceive around me, are all in a world i cannot understand. Yet my mind.. My soul, a separate entity in and of itself, continues to torture my body, that which exists in the physical reality,the internal. When will i understand the truth of my existance? Perhaps i am driving myself to madness.. The clues are there, right in front of my nose, but i dont see them. As long as my mind is immortal, my pain will forever torment my body. i cannot escape.
My mind is my prison.....It wont let go 4月22日 some ramblings-As this dream comes to an end blind pray to god to make them men as all hopes crumble thrths unveiled. The world we know is an abysmal hell.
-Out from the darkness my future is here. A frigid cold grasps my vein;s. Foretold through ages beckoning fear, My nightmare's finnaly here.
-Time has now come look to the sun, A grand failure the sky crumbles, Heaven follows. The end is here
-As the pain rises up again, I question even being human. Absurd evil seared into my eyes. It's here, I forever Die....... I dont want to be me.Well here i am again, my hopes raised only to be broken down again.I should have seen it coming, I have to be a stupid person to let this happen to me.I should have stayed away i shouldnt have come near again. Why did i open my arms again? Everytime im left alone my misery begins to drown me. Tied by a rope of anxiety thrown overboard. I dont know what to do..There's no escape just countless mistakes. It will never be the same. Witness trust fade away.
-Out of sight out of mind, The motto of betrayal. The Prophets preach to forgive and forget. I'm sorry i'm unable.
my life at this pointThings i have written,read and heard that i think represent how i feel at this point in my life.
-How Dare you single out my honesty. Compare me to your travesties. I only want to see you fight the darkness you wanna live your life by.
-Do you believe in forever? I dont believe in tomorrow. The only thing that lasts forever are memories and sorrow.
-In this chasm lying broken is a child charred inside,No more is there any hope. Shattered bones bloodied scars. Deliver me towards the soil close up the sun grant me rest. In worms coil,its so beautiful. World outside of this cell, with a somber gaze i take in what will never be. Prayed to be free,Broken on my knees. God won't appear. When all light dies its my only wish to die. So many times i swear i died.Why wont the blood loss kill me? Deliver me to the soil close up the sun, Grant me rest...
-Distance yourself from the pain that covers me. I reach out for your hand to find theres nothing left for me.Razors kiss the vein overdose for pain. A 12 gauge cross kisses the forehead a savior in a shell. Sever me from the fall. Open my arms bleed out the flood in crimson i begin to drown. |
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